(no subject)

[aliseadae]

There are a lot of things I do not know. A lot of them are emotional things and feelings that have not happened to me yet.

And I don't know if I am mature or what maturity is.

I don't know if I understand certain ways to interact with people. I think I am bad at starting things up, whatever they are. At asking people to help me with things or forming some sort of give and take deal.

Maturity is probably self reflection, at least in part. It is also most likely looking at others and seeing who they are. I don't know how well I can see most people. I'd like to be better at seeing them (their feelings and thoughts but not /everything). I'm not really sure what else maturity is.

Comments

[lex-of-green.livejournal.com]

I can't offer advice on maturity, as I'm pretty much a paragon of not-mature. I do know it's one of those words that means, very, very different things to different people though.

Many of your posts hint at the stories and situations behind them. I'd be curious to hear the full story one day.
But I can appreciate veils too.

I'm making a D&D character right now. She worships the Kraken - a god of depth and secrets. She might wear a veil.

[aliseadae]

I can tell the stories. I should tell the stories. I know what they are.
I hope I'm not like Bilbo, spread thin. So many people that read this and I have to spread to show them all things. But then I'm not under the power of an evil ring and I don't have a nephew to go toss my hypothetical ring in Mount Doom for me anyways.

I've noticed that in LARP my character couldn't really connect with people. She didn't really get together with them and make deals and plans that benefited both parties. I think that happens to me too. I have troubles making plans with people, making things that I'd like to happen happen. Oh, sometimes I can plan big events but it is the little things I'm talking about. Borrowing people's skills to make something that they'd appreciate too. I suppose I do it more than I think. I suppose all of my fears are unfounded.

That is part of it. As for maturity, I read the LJs of many authors and other people who have been in the Wiscon type of SF community for years and years. As they've been around for more years than me, they've had time to connect with people in different ways than I have; to have feelings that I've never had; to create things I haven't yet created. They have a different perspective, a different vista from which they look at life. You have a different vista, too. You and Zee and Cabell all do. It isn't a bad thing, just a different thing. The future and the past all sort of swirled up in my head today.